...ily...73...rip...jesse<3

Things keep getting harder and harder.... i've lost too many friends...... why does this keep happening...... why is life so hard and unfair.... as of yesterday, i lost 5 friends..... my freshman year..... a friend of mine in my grade was hit by a truck and killed.... and then a few months later a kid a grade ahead of me shot himself and died..... then a few months after that in my sophomore year...... a kid 2 years older than me who i knew pretty well hung himself..... then a few months after that...... on my birthday..... a friend from clarion lost control of his car on ice and crashed into a pole and died almost instantly..... and then yesterday.... a kid i've known and been friends with since i was two years old was sitting on the trunk of a team mates car while they were all just hanging out..... one of his fellow football players thought it would be really funny to start the car and drive off..... well he drove off a little too fast and jesse my big brother was flown off the trunk...... he was in surgery all night... and early yesterday morning they pronounced him brain dead...... idk what i'll do now that he's really gone.... it just doesn't seem real. i found out in first hour and from then until this morning i barely talked to anyone... i wouldn't talk to my teachers, my friends..... i almost didn't talk to my parents.. the first person i actually had a conversation with that involved talking not typing was my friend from camp.. curtis...... he is such a great friend and helps me through alot.... at camp we watched this skit and it brought back memories of tanner the kid that shot himself..... and i just broke down and he helped me he hugged me, and i told him EVERYTHING and i completely trusted him.. he also prayed for me and last night we talked on the phone for a while i told him what happened and i felt a little better..... but i still needed a hug from him.... its gonna be so hard for me to go to the funeral cause i feel like i'm a part of his family.... ever since i became friends with his younger sister..... maybe tonight i should rent elizabethtown and eat ice cream like my friend jared told me to do when my aunt pat died..... he really helped me too...... not through this but through the last time i lost someone..... i don't think i can handle another person dying in my life.... its so hard!!! idk what to do!! ya never know when your gonna lose someone so if you have something you want to say to someone say it before its too late...... last year jesse would pick me up for band almost every morning and he even took me home from a track meet and i would go to some of his football games and sit with his family to cheer him on..... and i would spend the night at his house..... of course with his sister haha..... but he would come and watch movies with us too..... i remember jessica and i tried to braid his hair once... and him and i even talked about dating last year.... and last month at a softball game me and one of my friends snuck into his car and stole suckers from the floor of his car.... we told him afterwards and he was fine with it..... the wierd thing is...... this morning i stood at the edge of my drive way like i would last year..... and i waited to see that white car speeding around the corner and stopping in front of my house.

♥AshLeeDaviSon♥