so on the 16th of december, we had our church christmas program....
i sang for it and took some pics:




us after the program ^^^^



me being bored ^^^^^^



bored again ^^^^^^^

So many things are going wrong....
1) I am getting blamed for everything
2) Everyone seems to think i'm always lieing
3) I feel like no one cares about me
4) I just want to run away and go somewhere else where people will
want to be around me and don't hate me......
everything is so hard......
i haven't even gotten to see my boyfriend for over a week..... christmas is so stressing.... ugh!!!!
i don't know what to do.....

HELP!!!!!!

♥ashlee♥

December 8th, 2007

GUESS WHAT???

IT'S MY 17th BIRTHDAY TOMARROW!!!!!

and i am very excited!! lol

♥ash

Busy, Busy, Busy!!!!

Well, sorry I haven't been on in a while, I've been pretty busy with school and cheerleading.
I am getting so much homework that it's hard to do all of it in one week!
Then I am in cheerleading again. and this time, i am staying in it.
i get to cheer my first varsity game on tuesday. I'm pretty excited, it's against north iowa. i have some friends from there! haha.......
i have bowling tomarrow, and i was supposed to have it last week but the weather was so bad we didn't have it. we were supposed to have a band concert last night but again since the weather was so bad, they reschedualed it for........... sunday!! thats rediculous!!
Guess what else....................


I am no longer single......
i am dating a guy from lake mills, his name is Corey Knutson, and he's a freshman... i know what your thinking.. other people have already told me. "YOUR DATING A FRESHMAN!!!" why does it matter that he's a freshman?? oh my goodness, i guess it's illegal to date someone two years younger than you! geeze! people common.........
oh well.....


You will never guess what else.....

I MADE THE HONOR ROLL!!!!
i have never been so smart as to make the honor roll!!! i was so excited!! haha
wow.... i don't know what else to put.....
except there are some idiots down the table from me watching a video about some kid laughing about who knows what!
oh my goodness.....
how immature........
♥ash

...ily...73...rip...jesse<3

Things keep getting harder and harder.... i've lost too many friends...... why does this keep happening...... why is life so hard and unfair.... as of yesterday, i lost 5 friends..... my freshman year..... a friend of mine in my grade was hit by a truck and killed.... and then a few months later a kid a grade ahead of me shot himself and died..... then a few months after that in my sophomore year...... a kid 2 years older than me who i knew pretty well hung himself..... then a few months after that...... on my birthday..... a friend from clarion lost control of his car on ice and crashed into a pole and died almost instantly..... and then yesterday.... a kid i've known and been friends with since i was two years old was sitting on the trunk of a team mates car while they were all just hanging out..... one of his fellow football players thought it would be really funny to start the car and drive off..... well he drove off a little too fast and jesse my big brother was flown off the trunk...... he was in surgery all night... and early yesterday morning they pronounced him brain dead...... idk what i'll do now that he's really gone.... it just doesn't seem real. i found out in first hour and from then until this morning i barely talked to anyone... i wouldn't talk to my teachers, my friends..... i almost didn't talk to my parents.. the first person i actually had a conversation with that involved talking not typing was my friend from camp.. curtis...... he is such a great friend and helps me through alot.... at camp we watched this skit and it brought back memories of tanner the kid that shot himself..... and i just broke down and he helped me he hugged me, and i told him EVERYTHING and i completely trusted him.. he also prayed for me and last night we talked on the phone for a while i told him what happened and i felt a little better..... but i still needed a hug from him.... its gonna be so hard for me to go to the funeral cause i feel like i'm a part of his family.... ever since i became friends with his younger sister..... maybe tonight i should rent elizabethtown and eat ice cream like my friend jared told me to do when my aunt pat died..... he really helped me too...... not through this but through the last time i lost someone..... i don't think i can handle another person dying in my life.... its so hard!!! idk what to do!! ya never know when your gonna lose someone so if you have something you want to say to someone say it before its too late...... last year jesse would pick me up for band almost every morning and he even took me home from a track meet and i would go to some of his football games and sit with his family to cheer him on..... and i would spend the night at his house..... of course with his sister haha..... but he would come and watch movies with us too..... i remember jessica and i tried to braid his hair once... and him and i even talked about dating last year.... and last month at a softball game me and one of my friends snuck into his car and stole suckers from the floor of his car.... we told him afterwards and he was fine with it..... the wierd thing is...... this morning i stood at the edge of my drive way like i would last year..... and i waited to see that white car speeding around the corner and stopping in front of my house.

♥AshLeeDaviSon♥

HAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!

haha!! omg.. i thought this was just really helarious when i saw it!! so i figured... what the heck haha... wow he kinda scares me when he looks like this!! haha i am so totally gonna miss that boy!!
Shelly did you know he did this?? lol

♥AshLeeDaviSon♥

*cry*

Hey...
I know i haven't been on very much lately...

i've been pretty upset...

see i have these friends... the Cole's....

and they are moving this weekend all the way to texas!!!!
its really gonna suck!!

See i've known about it for a while..

but i didn't think it would really happen

when i read shelly's blog saying they were moving in 4 days (2 days away!)

i started crying like you wouldn't believe...

i felt like a part of me was leaving (for reasons confidential except to me and jared! lol)
Jared is so nice to me he is one of the best friends i've ever had!
Dillon is just kinda the goof! haha but i still love him!

Madison is a great girl to talk to when i really need to...

her mom is the same way!...

shelly is like my second mom! i love talking with her even though i don't talk with her that much!
and scott... i don't really talk with scott much... but he is still a great person!!

I really don't know what i'll do once they leave!

I look up to them... i love hanging out with them... i really wish i could see them at least one more time before they leave....

but they leave on saturday!

so... i guess i'll have to wait untill we go down to visit them!! haha

so i guess thats pretty much it...

♥AshLeeDaviSon♥

I absolutely hate how my parents won't let me drive anywhere...
i got lost im mason once...
i wasn't even lost....
i know my way around mason...
i just didn't know my way to the orthodontist! oh well
but now they won't let me see my 'boy' friend
they won't let me drive down to clarksville to see him...
it sucks

♥AshLeeDaviSon♥

J.C

So....
theres this boy...
who i can't get off my mind....
i mean....
people tell me to forget about him...
that i shouldn't fall for players or cheaters...
but he's both...
i should know...
no i never dated him...
i really wish i had...
but i feel bad for what i did...
even though i'm friends with his most recent ex...
ex on account of what i did...
i know i sinned...
but he did too....
i mean he was the one that started it all...
but i never stopped it...
cause i liked him too much....
i love that boy with my entire heart!
but sometimes...
i feel like it will never happen...
no matter how much i want it too!
i have to give up..
and move on...
and just get on with my life....

♥AshLeeDaviSon♥

Church Camp

So.....
About a week ago.. i was at one of my all time favorite places in the world... and that was church camp! i mean... you meet so many new people! and make so many more friends!! and most importantly you get to make stronger relationships with god! i've had struggles in my life that sometimes i feel like i have too much to handle with.... but my mom.. and my grandma always told me.... "God never gives you more than you can handle!" and ya know what... i've grown to see that their right! sometimes i feel diff. but that feeling goes away! When i was at camp i didn't think i'd meet as many people as i did. i met this kid curtis... who was in a gang... has weed hidden in his bedroom wall... and carries guns with him at home cause theirs a gang out their hunting him down... i prayed for him sooo.......... hard.... i even talked with him and told him... that he should just get rid of all the weed he had... stop drinking... stop with gangs.... just not to be associated with them... and then aaron... i never found out much about him except for the fact that he tried killing himself a little while before camp... thank god the trigger was jammed!! Sam... one of the best friends i will prob. ever have... he just goes out.. parties... drinks too much... even though he knows he's still going to do it... he made a point of it to tell me not to do that... Steven... i've known him for a while... he is such a player!!! he drinks... gets wasted sometimes... and thinks it's no big deal... amber... pretty much the same as steven... minus the player part... all these people i met... i think i met them so i could pray for them... cause the all have struggles in their own lives...
one night for our night games... a group from a church called stand did a bunch of plays... the one that definately hit me the most... was the nerdy kid who was going to shoot himself in the head.... see... i've lost severaly friends... most in one year! mollie... killed by another one of my friends.... she was driving home late at night... she was wearing black... and was hit.... Tanner... shot him self... he was the one i was thinking of during that skit... and then Nate.... he hung himself... the day we had prac. for band... a few weeks before school started... his senior year....
and then after the skits.... we all found out that some of the kids in stand... some of their friends were in a car accident... on girl.. ali... was fine!.... another kid.... bryan i believe his name was... he was in a coma... but miraculously woke up a day later... in almost perfect condition... and then crystal.... she was killed instantly... i had seen her at camp before but wasn't extremly close.... it hit me pretty hard considering one of my friends was killed in a car accident... and then a kid... eric... i didn't know him extremly well... but he went to one of my friends school's... he was in a car accident on the day of my birthday... and he hit a light pole... he had slid on ice... he was killed instantly... it got me thinking... on how long will i have on this earth... i don't like to think about it but it's got to be thought about sometime... and i have this friend... his name is jared... i've known him since we were practiaclly born! i was older of course!! haha but only by a few months... i love him to death but... he is such a player... and sometimes he doesn't trust me... but no matter what people tell me... yes even his sister whom i love just as much ( and no dillon will not be left out... i love him too) their almost like a second family to me.. considering i like jared thats not the best phrase of words... lol and then my friend steven... sometimes i wanna strangle him!! see.... we had been talking about dating and stuff.. and then we went to prom together thinking he liked me... until i saw this girl and him kissing and... idk i like flipped... i didn't let him know that though... i didn't start crying until after he left... thats right... he left me for 2 hours to go to his gf's prom... i was so upset and i explained that to him later but...it took me a while to get over that one! haha but i do have many struggles in my life... and i'll get over them sooner or later... hopefully sooner rather than later... but god helps me through all those times!! we also had a concert... the opener... was Callie Weiss... she was amazing!! and then Green Hill was the main performance... they were great too!! we also did service projects while we were there... we went around the town of hampton cleaning windows, and toilets for local businesses... one group even cleaned police cars!!! also during that time.... we handed out water bottles... we had taped on bible verses to them.... it was so much fun.... we went swimming at the Greene, and Hampton Pools... played Capture the Flag... had GROSS games! haha... and i met a GREAT person... his name is Brandon.... and i like him so much... were not like dating yet... he wants to stay single for a while... i think god brought me to him too... considering he drinks.... i really hope he stops!! I think that about wraps it up for now!!!

♥AshLeeDaviSon♥